Tag Archives: choices

The art of choosing “One Thing”

01 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by in Bravery, Change, Courage, Health, Resolutions

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/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/5d4/73972831/files/2014/12/img_0157.jpgToday, bravery looks resolving to do only one thing. The one thing that will make today different from yesterday, the one thing that will be a contribution to you and to your life in the coming days. Yes, only ONE thing.

Some people use a marker such as New Years to stake their resolution flags in the ground. Others use birthdays. Still others, anniversaries. Milestone events are as good a moment as any to say, “Today will be different”.  The truth is, though, it’s less about naming the thing you want to do differently, it’s about actually making it happen.

I welcome the chance to think about what I want to change and state it as as a resolution for action. It is a positive, energizing process. When I know what my resolutions are, I just KNOW I will do THIS. And… this.  And… this. As you can imagine, I’m a very productive “Resolution maker.” Unfortunately, I’m also a very poor “Resolution doer.” Ah, the humanity.

To be completely honest, I’ve forgotten what my resolutions were from last year. Since they pretty much repeat from year to year, my guess is that they probably looked like these:

  • To lose weight
  • To improve relationships,
  • To strengthen my finances
  • To reduce stress
  • To be a better person

Do my resolutions look at all like yours? Do you wonder why if they are so meaningful at the time, do they keep reappearing?

Perhaps there are simply too many and while worthy, too complex. While they look REALLY good on paper, they are doomed to failure, simply because the energy that drives the birthing of those resolutions quickly runs out of steam.

It’s time to renew that gym membership we’re never going to use

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After years of failed resolutions, here’s what I know:  Doing one thing really well is worth more than tackling a lot of things that eventually go by the wayside.

Assuming you know this as truth as well, perhaps we can change our thinking right now. Whatever your resolutions, I invite you to choose only ONE, considering the following:

  • Which one hurts the most/will bring the most benefit?
  • Which is the most doable?
  • Which is the one most in our control?

Which one can you start today?  This moment?  Going back to the idea of “Resolution moments,” perhaps you can consider that while New Years, birthdays and anniversaries look like obvious opportunities to say, “The time is NOW,” perhaps every moment gives us a chance to resolve to be different.  To do differently.  To make something different happen.

You can do this, but it requires bravery.  Without all the distractions of the other things we hoped to do, choosing “One thing” is an act of bravery because it forces us to choose and commit, for real.  That kind of commitment can be scary, but exciting as well. The power that is waiting here for you is worth that kind of commitment.  And of course, the chance of actually accomplishing your resolution is its own reward.

So… what is your One Thing?  Feel free to stake your claim right here. I look forward to hearing about you and remind you that your comments will shore up others along their own paths.

Be brave. State your resolution. Choose One Thing.

The art of saying “No.”

04 Thursday Dec 2014

Posted by in Bravery, Courage, Time Management

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Raise your hand if you’re too busy.  If you’re an “Uber-doer”, and multi-tasking is a way of life. If you are perhaps reading this blog while reviewing your to-do list and/or thinking about your day’s schedule.

One reason you are too busy may be that you can’t say “No”.  If so, I feel your pain.  I, too, am an uber-doer.  It’s been me wide awake at 3 in the morning after remembering that I was supposed to bring snacks to my kids’ classrooms in 5 hours with no brownie mix in sight.  Chances are you were probably awake, too, wondering how you were going to hit a pressing deadline.

It’s a miserable feeling, right?  How in the world did we get here?  Why can’t we say “No”?

  • We think we can do it, even when we know how busy we are.
  • We’re afraid that saying “No” will make us look bad.
  • We feel it’s important and worry that it won’t happen if we don’t do it.
  • We think we don’t have a choice.

It’s also quite possible we like being that busy guy/girl.  Society has informally labeled “Busy” as “Good,” so we think that the busier we are, the more invaluable we are. This, of course, is flawed thought, obvious the moment we drop the ball.

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.

Socrates

What kind of life do we have when must-dos outnumber want-to-dos?  An unhappy one. The costs are numerous. “Too busy” gets old fast; it’s mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting. And because we are human, we are going to mess up, and so are bound to disappoint others and ourselves.

If any of these costs feel familiar to you, it’s time for a change. As you know, change requires bravery, especially if you are afraid of looking bad or letting someone down.

Here are some ideas to manage your way to “No”:

  • Reframe your “Busy is good” mindset and focus on quality over quantity.
  • Be honest with yourself and release those tasks that aren’t doable before they become a problem.
  • Give yourself permission to complete the tasks already on your plate before taking on something new.
  • Evaluate new opportunities in terms of what you can really do.
  • Then, say “No” as needed.

If you are worried about turning someone down, soften your response.  Say that you’ll do it another time, to indicate that you really do want to help. Offer to take a small, manageable piece. You’d be surprised how easy it is to find the right words, but if you can’t, say “No” anyway. You’ll notice that while people may not like it, they really will understand.

Don’t be afraid to a stand for yourself and the kind of life you want to have. The things you have to do will always be there, but saying “No” will give you the freedom to pick and choose the things you really want to do, as well.

Let me know how it goes.  None of this is easy work, but if you share your stories, you will help others in our “Brave Community” tackle the difficult challenges they face.

Be brave. Choose your life.  Just say “No.”